What? Where’s the ‘because’ to it. I can’t find the reason in the text. I can’t believe that you are happy till you tell me what made you so happy. What is that new thing you got. Who is that person. What is that experience. There has to be a reason, isn’t it?
Shouldn’t I say that I am happy because I got a new phone? That I feel good about my new clothes. That I like this chocolate. Only if I have these things will I be happy. ‘If’ I have this ‘then’ I will be happy, be filled with joy. Only then will I like life.
Success. Only if I could succeed I would be happy. Thats the only thing I want. Everyone lives for it. We want to have a happy life, and we will have it once we succeed. Till then we keep trying and remain sad. You might have a different definition of success though, and I have another. But the outcome is the same. It will make us unbearably happy. We might even cry with joy.
But no, I am happy now. Right now. In this moment. I haven’t felt better anytime. I like everything I have. Wow, so simple. There is simply no reason for it. I don’t know I just feel happy. Wierd? Its because your mind is hardwired to look for a reason. It simply can’t be possible, right? Why am I so happy?
What is wrong with you these days? You are so sad, so depressed. All the time you are worried. Every now and then there is a shiver going down through you when you remember that the exams are coming up in a week. Or that deadline for the project submission. Everything scares the hell out of you. You said, your best friend is paying less attention to you these days. And look what it has done to you. You are so down these days.
There is something that makes me feel good right now. Yes, there are a hundred things that are pending another fifty things that are just not right and another twenty past problems that keep cropping up. But the pending things are pending for a reason, so that you can complete them.
I am going to stay cool and work on it one by one. With focus on each one of them at a time. I am going to enjoy doing these things. I took them up, because I thought I will enjoy doing them, and now I will honour my decision. It makes me so happy to be doing something that I knew I will love doing.
Those fifty things that were just not happening right? Well, I can’t do anything about them, so they are not in my mental to-do list. So I don’t care about them. So they are not making me sad. I am completely fine with them. I have decided to rather pay attention to the seventy things that are going right. I am going to savour each of those seventy things because even though I had no control on them, they are so good. I am going to enjoy them till they are there.
And those twenty things from the past that keep bothering me. Thankfully they are in the past. I am so happy about that. Its amazing to not have to look up to them coming at me from the future. They are in the past. And if I keep remembering them, they are going to come back from the past and hit me in the back. I am not going to let them do this. I am so happy that they are simply locked up in the past. What could be better?
I have ignored all these things that might have depressed me endlessly, I have set my heart on doing something that I would really enjoy. That would increase my joy even further, exponentially, without bounds. And I made sure that, that is the thing that I do now.
And that is why I am full of joy. Now.
- Param Aggarwal
Originally published at paramaggarwal.com.